Fear no more. When you are invited to attend a formal event where a meal is served, it is expected that you know proper dining etiquette for using the silverware. True, mastering how to use every single utensil can be bewildering, not to mention the frustration and embarrassment that comes with it. Nevertheless, once you familiarize yourself with the proper way to handle this, you will be ready for any occasion. 

If you have seen the movie "Pretty Woman" you may recall when she was invited to a very fancy restaurant, the setting was complicated and she was totally confused. She watched others and was able to get through the meal just fine. Right up to the point where she shot the escargot (snails) across the room. Mistakes will be made. If you make a mistake, simply smile and move on.

Types

A variety shapes and sizes of of spoons, forks and knives may be present when you sit down. For most formal meals it is highly likely that you will be provided with two or three forks, several styles of spoons and knives. Using the correct utensil for each course is critical. You may find yourself looking at eight to ten options. Occasionally the proper utensils may be provided with each course, but that is more an exception than the rule. You will want to know exactly what to do when the silverware is already on the table. A setting is also referred to as a service. 

Geography

Utensils are normally arranged depending upon their order of use. Starting from the plate, utensils are set in the order they will be used, from the outside to the inside closest to your plate. For example, your salad is usually the first course, but not always. Simply proceed from one utensil to the next. It is very important for you to clearly distinguish between the types forks on the table. Apart from the oyster fork, which is placed in the bowl of a spoon on the right-hand side, all the other forks are used in order from the outside to the inside.

Use

Mastering how to use the fork and knife when cutting is one of the hardest things to master. According to etiquette, you should hold the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand. The fork is used to hold the food as you reduce it to bite-size pieces by use of the knife. Once you cut a piece of food, place the knife in such a manner that the handle is on the table while the blade rests on the right side of the plate. After the knife is placed correctly, the fork is normally switched to the right hand for eating. 

Placement

When you are not using your fork, there are a couple of ways of placing it. One, you can continue holding in the right hand such that the fork’s tine are pointing downwards. Secondly, you can place the fork in a similar way as the knife. 

Flaky and soft food

For flaky or soft food, like fish, the table etiquette varies slightly form the above facts. With such foods, the knife should not be used for cutting. Chunking up or sawing the food goes against proper table manners. Depending with the establishment, a fish knife will be brought together with the meal. In such a case, you hold and use the fish knife in a similar way as using a scalpel or a pen. If the fish knife is not provided, you can use the fork. With the fork in your right hand, press down the tines of the fork such that it slides a bite-size chunk of the food.

Dining etiquette is of paramount importance for young adults who want to get along well with others. This is because it will go a long way in improving one's impression on those they meet on a day to day basis. Young adults need to learn table manners to enjoy this prime period of their life and to expand their horizons when it comes to work, dating and getting along with people. Below are some basics to help achieve this.

Background Information

As a young adult, one should have some preliminary basic information as to with whom they will be dining. This information will help in deciding how to dress properly. Some dinners may require a predetermined dress code. Being in the appropriate attire will go a long way in expressing respect for the host and help create a perfect impression to those in attendance.

The Napkin

Once at the dining table, the first thing to do soon after sitting is unfold the napkin and place it properly to cover the lap. At a private dinner, wait for the host to do so and follow suit. This will help protect men's trousers and ladies' dresses from spills. It is also used to wipe off food from the corners of the mouth. When one wishes to be excused from the table to visit the restroom, take an important phone call or after finished eating, the napkin should be placed neatly to the left side of the plate.

Eating

Always wait for the others to be served before you start. Good posture during the entire meal should be maintained. One should not bend their face to the food but instead take the food to the face. For each course served, one should start with the utensil that is farthest from the plate and move inwards with every serving. Elbows should not be placed on the table. Instead, the idle hand should be placed on the lap. Control the pace of your eating so you don't finish before others.

When one wishes to indicate that they are finished, utensils should use the 4:20 position to communicate with the waiter or host. This involves putting the fork on the side close to you and the knife on the outer side with its edge facing the fork tongs.

Things to Avoid

Chewing should be done with the mouth closed and never talk with a mouthful of food. If something is not within personal reach, one should not try to reach it, instead ask the person clsest to pass it. When asked to pass food, it should be done from left to right.

One should not use the phone during dinner. When it is necessary to make a call, one should asked to be excused. If a lady excuses herself, the men seated with her should stand when she stands and stand again when she returns.

Table manners and etiquette for young adults is not hard to master, it simply takes training and practice.

Marcy Breault, "Etiquette Training Guru"

Understanding proper dining etiquette is an essential skill in today's society. For both business and social situations, having a firm grasp of fine dining is an asset and can play a crucial role in successfully navigating these situations or presenting a bad impression. For this reason, many people are taking advantage of dining etiquette training to obtain a firmer grasp of these dining principles. These are the basic skills needed to navigate in proper dining situations.

Remember that fine dining is designed to be a leisurely time. Always eat small portions of food and remember to put down cutlery between each mouthful. The cutlery should always be placed on the plate instead of the table. Cross the tips of the pieces in order to inform the server that the meal is not yet finished. The knife and the fork are the two most commonly used utensils. Food should be cut up as it is eaten, not cut up at the start. Remember that the tines of the fork should be pointing toward the plate.

Napkins are also another area where etiquette is important. A napkin is one of the aspects of dining that is commonly misused. However, napkins are designed to dab at the mouth. Don't use them to wipe. At the beginning of the meal, the napkin should be unfolded and then placed on the knees and should never be tucked into the front of a shirt. If leaving the table before the end of the meal, the napkin should be placed on the seat. This signifies a temporary leaving and the napkin will not be removed by the server. At the end of the meal, the napkin can be placed tidily to the left of the plate.

Seating etiquette is an important part of dining. When seated at a table, feet should remain firmly on the floor. Avoid crossing the legs or leaning back in the chair. Elbows should be at the sides throughout the meal. A relaxed, but upright posture is most appropriate and do not lean over the plate while eating. Always bring the food to the mouth instead. The hands should generally remain in the lap when not being used and, as most know, elbows are not permitted on the table.

One final area is the meal itself. No one should start eating until the entire table has been served. If there are a large number of people present, the hostess may indicate a start to the meal by eating a small bite or asking people to begin the meal. If something is eaten that cannot be swallowed like a fish bone or similar, be excused and then remove it in privacy. Also, depending on the food choices, food may become stuck in the teeth. This is normal and when it happens, be excused to the bathroom to remove it. Never pick at the teeth or the mouth area while at the table.

These are some of the basic dining skills needed. For more advanced help in this area, dining etiquette training is an asset and can help anyone achieve confidence in a formal dining setting.

Marcy Breault "Etiquette Training Guru"