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Are Your Manners Setting a proper example?

10/19/2015

 
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In a perfect world, everyone would be well behaved, considerate of others, thoughtful... In others words, in a perfect world everyone would have perfect manners. Unfortunately, we live in a world that is anything but perfect, and this inherent imperfection is reflected in the widespread lack of good manners that can be observed just about anywhere. This situation has become so alarming that the subject of proper manners training has become quite a hot topic in recent times.

This article will take a closer look at the subject and will help to educate readers about this important topic in the process. It will also answer some questions that are relevant to the subject. These include: What constitutes a mannerly person? What are some manners that are desirable to have? Is setting a great example an effective way of helping children and young adults develop properly? Let's answer these questions.

WHAT CONSTITUTES A MANNERLY PERSON?

People who behave in thoughtful and socially intelligent ways can be described in many ways, including 'classy', 'cool', or just plain 'mannerly'. But which specific traits are considered to be mannerly?

A good definition of mannerly individuals are those that demonstrate unselfish and responsible values and personal characteristics. These people tend to stand out in a crowd not because they dress in the most flashy clothes or display the most money, but because of the strength of their pleasant personalities.

WHAT ARE SOME MANNERS THAT ARE GENERALLY CONSIDERED TO BE DESIRABLE?

Every human culture has differences and there is much truth in the old adage, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." That being said, there are certain personality traits that are generally respected the world over, including some of the following ones.

* Empathy and consideration for others. A person like this is able to put themselves in the shoes of others, and can thus see different situations through the eyes of others. Because of this, they are able to be exceptionally understanding of others.

* Respect. An individual of this kind is well aware of the rights of other people, and is committed to respecting those rights.

* Tactful. People like this are aware that words have great power, and are sensitive to using language that recognizes and protects the feelings of others.

IS SETTING A GREAT EXAMPLE A GOOD WAY OF HELPING KIDS AND TEENS GROW INTO MANNERLY ADULTS?

In order to answer this question, it will be necessary to know a little bit about how children learn.

When a baby is born, its young mind is essentially a blank slate. Over time, this amazing brain will become filled with all kinds of knowledge, much of which will be gained by experience. But this is not the only way kids learn; According to the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization, (UNESCO) another major source of learning is by EXAMPLE. 

Which people do young children tend to watch and copy the most? Their primary caregivers, which in most cases will be their parents, grandparents, and immediate family members. It is from these people that the young one will learn things like language, dress, physical mannerisms, mental attitudes... the list goes on and on.

Thus, we can easily see how much of an impact parents and older family members can and indeed do have on the young children in the family. This can be a two edged sword though. If the family members in question are ill-mannered and have little character, it will be hard (though not impossible) for the child to not follow the same path.

Conversely, if the grown ups in the family express positive characteristics like good manners, hard work, respect, and the like, the kids in this family will automatically pick up on and begin to express these admirable traits themselves.

Therefore, parents and caregivers truly owe it to their young children to try to set the best example they possibly can. They may fall short from time to time - we're all human, after all- but if they really give it their all, the kids in question will have a good chance of turning into mannerly, awesome, responsible adults. And that is what manners training is really all about.


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    Authors

    Steve & Marcy Breault Founders of The Protocol & Etiquette School. Northern, VA.

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